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About Varied / Hobbyist Cyanide SynnFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Literature
Reminiscing with an Angel
"Be the good you wish to see in the world."
I don't recall who said it first
But I remember Nana saying it to me
Telling me to be the bigger person
Always be loving, always be kind.
To always treat those as you wish to be treated
To smile each and every day.
These are the things I remember most,
When she tried my ice cream that she hates
Just because I thought I was being clever.
Trying to trick her into getting the peanut butter.
She hated chocolate peanut butter....
I say these things with a smile,
Because they make me happy as well as sad.
I look at this face in the mirror,
My face.
The face that so closely resembles my beloved mother, my best friend.
I think of you too Nana, would I look like you when I'm older?
Would you be proud of the woman I've become?
If the things I've done, that I've accomplished?
I stare at myself and wonder,
I practice a smile on myself and think on what I have to offer the day.
Even though I just want to cry some days,
To waste away my life a few days.
Bu
:iconCyanideSynn:CyanideSynn
:iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 0 0
My First Background Space by CyanideSynn My First Background Space :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 0 0 Galaxy BG by CyanideSynn Galaxy BG :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 0 0 Match Made in Hell revamp by CyanideSynn Match Made in Hell revamp :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 0 0 Birds of a Feather by CyanideSynn Birds of a Feather :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 2 0
Literature
Waking up
Open your eyes.
You're staring out at the expanse of a room that, though in the morning light, seems bleak and dark.
Force yourself to sit up, get out of bed, though it seems like the last thing you want.
Go look at yourself in the mirror and hate everything you see, tell yourself you're going to fail. Realize you haven't even left your house yet.
Discourage yourself.
You're not going to make a difference.
You're not going to have a good day.
You're nothing.
Nobody.
STOP!
Look at yourself, look into the eyes of your reflection.
Our reflection.
We are beautiful, we can and will do great things!
We are strong and we can beat this.
We are a warrior, this fight doesn't stand a chance.
Smile.
Ready yourself for the day outside, you are radiant.
You DO help make the world a brighter, more beautiful place.
Turn towards the light, leaving the darkness and doubt behind you.
You can fight your depression.
You are not alone.
Take my hand,
we can do this.
:iconCyanideSynn:CyanideSynn
:iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 2 0
Arsenic, Witch of Darkness by CyanideSynn Arsenic, Witch of Darkness :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 0 0 Kirari, Witch of Deception by CyanideSynn Kirari, Witch of Deception :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 1 0 Belladonna, Witch of Tactics by CyanideSynn Belladonna, Witch of Tactics :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 0 0 Aconite, Witch of Chaos by CyanideSynn Aconite, Witch of Chaos :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 1 0 Cyanide, Cosmic Dark Witch by CyanideSynn Cyanide, Cosmic Dark Witch :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 0 0 Character bio: Natasha by CyanideSynn Character bio: Natasha :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 1 0 Match made in hell part two by CyanideSynn Match made in hell part two :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 2 0
Literature
Warrior
I am a warrior....
Not because I've seen combat, or fought against an enemy of our country...
Every day I fight,
I fight to get out of bed,
I fight to make myself take pills I know I need.
I fight with that voice in my head.
'Just one slip it'll all go away.
You know you want to. Give in.'
No it won't and yes I do,
But I'm stronger than this, I always have been!
'Stop fighting, you've been strong enough.
Let this take your pain away.'
No! All you do is lie, all you do is hide.
I won't run anymore, I'll stand and face this pain!!
I refuse to hide this anymore, I will not back down without a fight!
I am here to make my stand,
I will scream with all my might!
You may have been who I was,
But not who I will be!
I am stronger than this, than you,
And everyone will see!
Yes I have scars, and they are from a battle.
A battle with my pain, my demons.
They are also something more,
They are my drive, they are my reasons.
I am a warrior.
I am strong.
I will make a difference, a little at a time,
:iconCyanideSynn:CyanideSynn
:iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 2 3
Master of Darkness by CyanideSynn Master of Darkness :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 2 3 Angel by CyanideSynn
Mature content
Angel :iconcyanidesynn:CyanideSynn 0 0

Favourites

Starfishes by YAMsgarden Starfishes :iconyamsgarden:YAMsgarden 462 20 NSFW Doot by PANS0L0
Mature content
NSFW Doot :iconpans0l0:PANS0L0 123 10
Warmup by PANS0L0 Warmup :iconpans0l0:PANS0L0 309 27 Ariel by Loputon Ariel :iconloputon:Loputon 1,651 30 I want these boys to be happy by eyugho I want these boys to be happy :iconeyugho:eyugho 85 2 LouHat by cartoonjunkie LouHat :iconcartoonjunkie:cartoonjunkie 729 49 Lou Cypher Voice (Storyboard Animation) by cartoonjunkie Lou Cypher Voice (Storyboard Animation) :iconcartoonjunkie:cartoonjunkie 503 22 September reference sheets by Kibbitzer September reference sheets :iconkibbitzer:Kibbitzer 2,233 23 LouCypher by cartoonjunkie LouCypher :iconcartoonjunkie:cartoonjunkie 547 34 Zeek by cartoonjunkie Zeek :iconcartoonjunkie:cartoonjunkie 495 36 CharlieDennis by cartoonjunkie CharlieDennis :iconcartoonjunkie:cartoonjunkie 611 35 Auction: Couple YCH CLOSED] by ZenithOmocha Auction: Couple YCH CLOSED] :iconzenithomocha:ZenithOmocha 481 49 Eclipse by YAMsgarden Eclipse :iconyamsgarden:YAMsgarden 799 47 Kakyoin - Sketches 02 by YAMsgarden Kakyoin - Sketches 02 :iconyamsgarden:YAMsgarden 584 13 Papyton - Comic Collab :PART 2: by YAMsgarden Papyton - Comic Collab :PART 2: :iconyamsgarden:YAMsgarden 810 54 CM - 91117 by PANS0L0 CM - 91117 :iconpans0l0:PANS0L0 261 20

Activity


Two years ago I lost my uncle in the most devastating way. I dont remember much of when i found out, just that i was talking to a friend and my cousin called me.
I switched over to talk to her and, through a voice thick with tears, she delivered the most earth shattering news i think i've ever received.
"Cait.... uncle ray... hes gone. He killed himself Caity."

..... I dont remember much other than sobbing and screaming. Screaming for it not to be true, this... this couldnt happen, not to my family. My older brother held me while i sobbed and i then turned to my mom for comfort. Her Oldest brother, my aunts twin, my cousins father, my second cousins grandfather... he was gone. 
And nothing could bring him back. 

A lot of my family has issues, alcoholism, depression, bipolar. But we never imagined it was so bad that our beloved family member sought the need to remove himself from this world, all too soon.

Its not much to a lot of people, but its a lot to me. I plan to walk in the Walk out of the Darkness for suicide prevention and awareness, and i'd really appreciate donations for this organization. So no family has to endure what mine did. Theres such a stigma and taboo around suicide. But if we take that away, so many more would, COULD, get help. 
I dont usually do this, going around begging for money, but id really appreciate just this once. Thank you. 

afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?…

Thinking about Suicide?

Help is available now,
and 24 hours a day. CALL NOW.

1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255)

1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)

Depression Hotline
(630) 482-9696

Para obtener asistencia en español llame al 1-888-628-9454
"Be the good you wish to see in the world."

I don't recall who said it first
But I remember Nana saying it to me
Telling me to be the bigger person
Always be loving, always be kind.
To always treat those as you wish to be treated
To smile each and every day.

These are the things I remember most,
When she tried my ice cream that she hates
Just because I thought I was being clever.
Trying to trick her into getting the peanut butter.
She hated chocolate peanut butter....
I say these things with a smile,
Because they make me happy as well as sad.

I look at this face in the mirror,
My face.
The face that so closely resembles my beloved mother, my best friend.
I think of you too Nana, would I look like you when I'm older?
Would you be proud of the woman I've become?
If the things I've done, that I've accomplished?

I stare at myself and wonder,
I practice a smile on myself and think on what I have to offer the day.
Even though I just want to cry some days,
To waste away my life a few days.
But I get up,
I work to become a woman that can stand before you again one day with pride.
A strong woman just like you were.
Hopefully you can forgive the tattoos, they mean a lot to me.

But I'm rambling now Nana,
You probably should be getting back.
I know heaven must be missing its most ornery Angel right about now.
Good night Nana,
Love,
Cait-E-Did.
Reminiscing with an Angel
Just felt inspired and wanted to write something kinda uplifting for myself.
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My First Background Space
My first attempt at doing a space/starry night background. Helped out by :iconamethystclaw: so that I could learn how to space and expand my horizons as an artist! lol
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Match Made in Hell revamp
My friend and My Characters.
The male is Algonquin Daktari, created by :iconleneka10523: and the female is my own Tae Lin Wei, also known as Cyanide Synn. I went ahead and decided to color it and stuff like that, I'm pretty happy with it.
Algonquin and Tae are the perfect definition of a dysfunctional couple, their crazy matches each other perfectly. He calms her while she calms him. Their love is fucked up and special lol.
Loading...
Two years ago I lost my uncle in the most devastating way. I dont remember much of when i found out, just that i was talking to a friend and my cousin called me.
I switched over to talk to her and, through a voice thick with tears, she delivered the most earth shattering news i think i've ever received.
"Cait.... uncle ray... hes gone. He killed himself Caity."

..... I dont remember much other than sobbing and screaming. Screaming for it not to be true, this... this couldnt happen, not to my family. My older brother held me while i sobbed and i then turned to my mom for comfort. Her Oldest brother, my aunts twin, my cousins father, my second cousins grandfather... he was gone. 
And nothing could bring him back. 

A lot of my family has issues, alcoholism, depression, bipolar. But we never imagined it was so bad that our beloved family member sought the need to remove himself from this world, all too soon.

Its not much to a lot of people, but its a lot to me. I plan to walk in the Walk out of the Darkness for suicide prevention and awareness, and i'd really appreciate donations for this organization. So no family has to endure what mine did. Theres such a stigma and taboo around suicide. But if we take that away, so many more would, COULD, get help. 
I dont usually do this, going around begging for money, but id really appreciate just this once. Thank you. 

afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?…

Thinking about Suicide?

Help is available now,
and 24 hours a day. CALL NOW.

1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255)

1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)

Depression Hotline
(630) 482-9696

Para obtener asistencia en español llame al 1-888-628-9454

deviantID

CyanideSynn's Profile Picture
CyanideSynn
Cyanide Synn
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
My name is Cyanide Synn, it is true it isn't the name I was born with but rather the persona that i have adopted and shaped into the artist that I have become. The person that I have built into myself.
I am twenty five years old. I enjoy drawing but I love writing more, it allows me to more accurately express myself.
I am a recovered Cutter, some days are harder than others to resist it. I've slipped and stumbled far more than I would like to admit to myself or anyone else. But the important thing is that I have a wonderful support system and they are truly the best things in my life right now.
I am a nice person to talk to, and if anyone ever needs to talk or you have a request of something for me to write, just send me a message. I am open to suggestions.
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconmr0spot:
mr0spot Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy bday! :3
Reply
:iconcyanidesynn:
CyanideSynn Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
dawwww, thank you so much! ^_^
Reply
:iconmr0spot:
mr0spot Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
np :)
Reply
:icontheevilovelords:
TheEvilOvelords Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the watch on our group :iconthewritergang:

Sakurai Amy
Founder of The Writer Gang
Reply
:iconcyanidesynn:
CyanideSynn Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
no problem ^_^ I like your guys' group. All the poetry and vids are really great.
Reply
:icontheevilovelords:
TheEvilOvelords Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the compliments, but we couldn't have done it without our minio- I mean, members :D
Reply
:iconcyanidesynn:
CyanideSynn Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
lol, Well you all keep up the great work. ^_^
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmr0spot:
mr0spot Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy bday :3
Reply
:iconcyanidesynn:
CyanideSynn Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconmr0spot:
mr0spot Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
np :3
Reply
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